hoping that the warm oozing water can wash away the fatigue and guilt from staying up a little too late last night
(i pledged that i'll tuck meself under the covers NO LATER THAN 12. i DID. for one night?)
the morning music made me think: maybe i'll write about the music tdy
yeh. then i started to make an imaginery list of music i like in my head:
james blunt, this love, john mayer, sitting waiting wishing...no i cant forgive myself for leaving out cold play.. a little taylor swift will do too
and it kept going on..and on
until i realise its going nowhere and this little long list have to wait
theres something more interesting that i'd very much like to prioritize
so ciao to pop artists, make way for life.
you know all those cliche thought-of-the-day you see at starbucks everyday
u wont be surpised when u read, for the thousandth time:
"reach for the moon, you'll only fall amongst the stars"
i cant remember the last time i did something fearlessly
even the most amazing thing i did, going to uni interviews,telling my crush i liked him
all these i did with my heart shaking
i feared. what exactly?
i guess i fear the fall. the fear of not landing amongst the stars
but somewhere into the deep unknown
when you're fifteen, the only thing you fear is being told by someone you loved they dont feel the same for you
that your parents dont ]talk during dinner anymore
that your sister drunk called you and didn't come home until dawn
that you fail your finals
maybe i'm so young and nothing much get to go wrong in life
i fear "the first time"s
been there. done that. is all they say.
when days slip past you find fewer first times and more second, third, fourth..i-forgot-how-many times
and you start to feel fearless
u've fell. u've cried. u came to realise. u pick yourself up and walk back into life. wondering when your tears will come for a visit agen. wondering why things that used to break you no longer matter
you became fearless.
the week to come is hurling pressure at me like a bully watching a kid drown in fear
but this time you are not the bully. i am not anymore the kid.
ciao fear, cause we are meant to fall lightly amongst the stars
reaching up for the babyblue the mashmallows and their sweet confused mind
the way home
why its you baby rolling into my way
and will do it fearlessly. as i promised.