Another trip

ciao tort. there. done for life.
within 3 hrs i transformed meself into a novel writer
prolific-ly (ahhh such a rare word i never have the chance to come across these days), gracefully wrote 14 pages of dont-worry-your-husband's-dead-for-good-now-u-got-to-replace-him-with-$
scrabbled endlessly like i'm born to do this.
nahh sorry the ambulance's late yeah..latent defect (nahh bad bad defence. accidents always have a cause. and the guilt lies in those with big pockets)...duhh he would have died anyways delay or not.
such a cruel fair world.

felt guilt creep over me for sleeping a little 3 hrs later than promised....
tried ridding it by spoiling meself with a little salmon parmaham and ravioli
trust me. it ALWAYS does the magic
the fatigue wears off. JUST LIKE THAT
discovered a little honey-scented gift-set by lush..with all the ma bars the honey i washed the kids and my-april-fav honey bunnn
i swear im doing a review on it. the bath bombs'....(trying to find a b word)

today between the cheese crackers and breadpudding
something stirred in me mind and mum's always the one with answers
"when do you know if he's the right one"
"you never know. "
"how did you know dad's the right one"
"i never knew.i won't know. but for now he's just the right one"
so circular. so begging the question. so straight from the heart

i want answers.
i want to make sure what im doing now im doing right.
when i start to question, i start to get confused, i go into the why saga
and always end up torn and broken when i found out the things i was ever so fond of turned out
like this cheese
indifferent. tasteless. but once i was mistaken it was gold fallen from heaven

do i like sweet pink floral things because i like sweet pink floral things or because i hate bitter grey polkadots?
did mum like dad because she liked him or because she hate being childless at 30?
do we like what we like or do we like sth because we hate the contraries?
and then i realise
sweet pink floral things goes best with bitter grey polkadots.
(per colour theme)

gracious hatred. for letting us know what we want in life.

.....movie or bath? or both? i think i deserve a quick nap afterwards
there you go. too little time too much awaiting

chau as she skips happily into the bubbles taking another trip into...life.

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