11.28.2011

為何仍是愛得隱隱作痛

we walked through my past.

its ridiculously funny how the road just unwinds itself tried telling its story in the dark

i didn't hear a thing he said

he didn't say it to me

when you've ran out of words ran out of touch ran out of breath tell me how to tell you whats happening right now right here

silence.

they all thought its the remedy.

i saw how silence killed some love

lets walk when its colder

so when some words do touch my soul, i can shiver it off and pretend its just the cold

its you

because your selfishness is my protection

because you are everything i am not and everything i am trying to get rid of

why still

because my selfishness feeds your guilt

so wrong

because we all want something we both don't want to give.

i wish i didn't know.

11.25.2011

some best thing i haven't heard in a while

immersed myself in aquatic medium
maybe i can hear my thoughts better

it used to make me blush the pangs of guilt love shame washing upwards
until tears blur me vision
not any more
this time
i can look him in the eye and say whats on my mind
and then made a silent compromise
walking into a futureless reality

woke up, water dripping down my forelocks
i wrote what i cannot say
anticipated an ending. smiled. ready for whatevers ahead
some other reply
didn't change my mind
but its some best thing i haven't heard in a long time

i didn't come to savour whats said right and done wrong
just in case i wake up to another tomorrow
i had a very wonderful dream

11.21.2011

a wandering mind

it was just supposed to be a causal stroll
through those words that once constructed my teeny universe
did words grew less effective
or did my world simply grew bigger

some dreams died, to make way for life
its easier that way.
though i am quite wrong. because everything only gets a little more difficult.
to smile to cry
everything seem to matter a little less
because there are others who meant much more

sometimes, just a very minute bit of moment
i wonder what really happened
i felt guilty for disrupting his world
i had my fair share of fun
and my equally fair share of pain
we are left bruised and confused
of whats awaiting

it would be more beautiful if its simpler
if you delve too deep
you'll just find yourself with a handful of nothingness
so stop where its still sweet and simple

these days
the only thing that still gives me goosebumps
tis the lingering feeling of that embrace






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