let me tell you what happened today

i was walking right out of the bathroom when he suddenly said

"not every girl like alcohol"

just like that

and the amazing thing is not what he said

its my reaction

I hesitated. and smiled.

so there are nothing left to talk about other than hurting


the little guy is pacing my room right now, frantically

he desperately need a phone number to save him, or literally his textbook

"my friend said he will fax it to me later"

"Don't trust a single thing men say."

even little men.


babies cry

i didn't know how and when did this thought flew into my mind

but sometimes when i see a baby cry


i wonder whats going on in their little head

if being left alone can make a little guy make noise so loud that the world seem to be able to be shattered by it

i used to reprimand them

if only you know whats ahead, then you'll tune it a little lower. a little lower, until you just absorb the pain

then it occurred to me today

maybe everything we are crying about is the same

now, then, later.


" good afternoon, I didn't know what to say"

say, there is indeed a huge load of consistencies between marx and us, chinese.

often i need to let my brain breathe a little after 2 intense hours of marx and webber brainwash.
believe me, when at some point of the lecture, I kind of got carried away and had this little thinking that my scottish lecture is planting some sort of seed of revolution into our little cramped minds.

nevermind, no one will be bothered to react, there are too much deadlines. I ignored my thought.

but its tremendously fulfilling what I received this morning on legal theories. I wondered why the law faculty did not try to put this way before we start all the contract law and tort law and commercial law

it would at least make more sense.

ok, so i am trying to let my brain breathe

so i texted someone important and all i said was

" good afternoon, I didn't know what to say"

I hope it is not too much for today.


there is only one reality

the first emotion that came to my mind when i finished reading haruki murakami's 1Q84 is


why can the protagonist try to implant this idea of the importance of making reality a one-dimensional statement. and haruki murakami made it sound like a caution sign.

to me, it sound like

"beware, there is only one reality"

what about the other dimensions? the music? the love? the colours?

what about our tainted perceptions, the morality of different cultures?

i am a true unbeliever of universality

but then, now as i progress along the book.

i think i took it too seriously

and out of context.

and i tainted the statement with my own emotions. moral values. prejudice (yet again)

i think all he wanted to convey is

"don't try to make anything more than it should be"

and to me,

it is

to let makeup be make up, clothes be clothes, art for arts sake

and if law is what governs our survival

I guess it is only reasonably legitimate

to invest more time and effort into completing my degree

like it or not,

it meant more than makeup and clothes.

maybe not family

but not anything less.


i am who i am.

i wake up because im hungry

i sleep becoz im too tired from thinking

i hide becoz i am doing everything i shouldnt do

i smile becoz no one wants to see you cry

i left becoz its not gonna work

i stood here becoz i duno where to go

i run becoz you can never get what you want by walking

i am angry becoz it hurts

i am lonely becoz i am alone.

i am broke becuase happiness comes with a price tag

i am silent becoz everyone is busy going on with their lives and no one wants to know

i dont want to go home because i dont deserve it

i am happy becoz i need to be

i am sad becoz it doesn't matter anymore.

state of mind.

beatles said

its just a state of mind.

if i try to classify relationship into three distinct domains

1. actus reus
2. mens rea
3. reputation/ status

are all three necessary conditions for relationship to exist?
what is the determinant factor?


its the reality.

the first is merely a state of mind, the second an illusion.

the reality is: my will is stronger than i believe; my body weaker than i thought

you =body and soul

teach yourself that the state of nature is a messy warzone

so you'll learn to appreciate the boundaries

not only the boundaries e.g. the rule of law

but morality.

and principles

in the end,

integrity is my new muse.


When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother "what will i be"

i want to write, but what do i want to write about?

i am a law student, but i don't want to reduce my writing to standard forms

i am writing an article for a fashion & lifestyle magazine, but I don't want to write about jason wu and derek lam.

i am reading a book about personal love experiences written by a local chinese author, but i don't want to publicize my pain

I read an article from the guardian this morning, in response to Kony 2012. Its full of quotes and arguments from different perspectives. Full of criticisms and insights. It didn't convey any message, it is just selectively informative.

That. is what i want to write about.

but I can't be a journalist. no i can't go out there in uganda writing about another person's plight. because i just came home from a half-hour taxi ride and I already want to throw my stomach away.

what you want is often something you don't need.

there are two things I will do:

1. finish e-mailing my interviewees about my style tribe piece.

2. email my comments to the new mediation bill that would be commented by the legislative council.

remember, it is dangerous to muddle emotion with work.

comments on kony 2012

shared this one my facebook page at 9:30 p.m. HKT 10/3/2011

read this at 5:15 a.m. HKT 11/3/2011:

watched this after reading the above

this maybe my first post on commenting on newstrend, but i'll explain myself

I was first attracted to the video because i saw numerous friends sharing it on facebook.

I have no idea who kony is, and have no interest in knowing

until i finally have the time between dinner and my readings to actually watch it

I am annoyed that it takes me almost half-an-hour.

my initial response?

It is exactly the same issue i reaserched on for my model united nations speech in March 2009 in the last year of my high school in Li Po Chun United World College.

I did two things: 1. I shared it on my facebook 2. I sent the link to one of my friends who did the research on LRA with me 3 years ago.

Then I randomly read another comment on one of my facebook friends page, in which he laments about how dramatic visual and audio effects became the new propaganda. Another friend commenting that " I seriously fail to see how military action can really help the situation. they wanna get rid of kony, and somehow bypass his children army? the very people we aim to protect. ironic." and " this 'non-profit organization' only uses some 30%(?) of their funds raised to directly support the cause"

then one of my facebook friend who is currently doing a journalism major in city unviersity of London posted the post on Guardian.

then I watched the link on "response on kony 2012"

and i stumbled across the trailer on "girl scout", which I find interesting as I can see the kony effect but in another context.


I wanted to comment on a comment made by the blogger from Uganda who made the response video to Kony 2012.

"We recognise the situations, we know what they are, it's not everybody's responsibility to come and rescue us. We're not babies. We have to rise ourselves otherwise we'll always be the dependants"

"uganda is not defined by kony"

I concur that one country is, and should, never be defined by its shame. It is not one thing that makes up one huge place. and no one would like to be identified by their shame.

I also concur that involving is not a necessary condition for aiding. Partial, rational, and professional involvement can utmost help create the necessary circumstances for the fragile, the weak to help themselves.

and on long term developement, an impartial individual will be a globalized forum, as unimpartial as can be, it is still their duty to mobilize practical international support to solve international issues.

the mediator should be a third party. and that third party should not give advise and should not commence actual action in any resort.

I begin to understand why political activists are overated, and why democracy is not the catalyst for happily-ever-after.

I am happy that the invisible children group made their point, but they should be careful in terms of dealing with the audience, especially partially informed young adults like me.

The awareness should be raised as informative as can be. and at least include a few more quotes from different perspectives. I do not feel comfortable if something merely makes me shed tears and feel sensational

rational educated young adults should not base their acts on emotional influences.

this is something I have yet to learn.


Hi, I am helen

after 3 years since the first day i met this space

I realise I haven't yet formally introduced myself.

I am Helen, a girl from Hong Kong. I am always troubled with about-me boxes. because I realise everytime the things that constitutes me changes so constantly and I am running too slow to catch up on myself, I always end up

with a new me.

Well, except the about me I wrote permanently on facebook and twitter and here in my profile.

Because words made it permanent, so when I read those descriptions I once wrote about myself, it reminded me of who I was

and after 3 years,

I found out I am still me.

so much about being lost.

so I'll continue here...

I am a little girl from Hong Kong. The smallest cosmopolitan city you can find on the map. I used to be proud that it doesn't even exist on the map. It is a dot.

and I thought we were taught that the basic component of every matter is particles.

If Hong Kong is a dot, then I guess American, Asia and Russia is made up of thousands and millions and zillions of Hong Kong.

That, makes being proud, an understatement.

I am a very dependent girl with a one-track mind, often taken back by how complicated life, people things are. I have no idea what I like, because I hate the feeling of dislike, and I learnt that getting a scholarship into college means acing at elimination.

so far, I journeyed through 20 years of my life through elimination.

I dislike her because, I like her because

opps. I don't know.

But my primary school teacher said its rude to answer in an incomplete sentence.

a full complete sentence begins with I + a verb + a because.

I started to freak out when I start waking up to a missing because and then the verb becomes meaningless and I look so alone.

so I began venturing through the world with new verbs, a new attitude

mother said sometimes its not reasonable to reason everything you do.

but she always ask why.

so the girl from hong kong starts looking for a new you.

teacher said I & YOU is not the correct grammer, it should be YOU & I.

so, with every you I ran into, I tried to step back a little.

YOU first, I'll follow.

but YOU are so happy in your little world of 3 letters, I look so insignificant.

I try to make myself known to the world, tried to simplify you into an alphabet and place you 12 alphabet after me.

I thought this way, you'll learn your lesson.

and then we are so far apart,

I don't need you, nor do you need me.

so that's how I spent my 2 years.

trying to prioritize.

myself before Us and after A

sandwiched happily in the middle.

sometimes I look at A and it made me think of effiel tower and paris,

and I thought, my dreams would come true in that land.

and when I got there, I forgot my dreams. I got too busy catching cabs to duck the rain.

anyways. I wonder whats out there

the you I will eventually meet.

I think everything matters, the noun, the verb, the adjective and the reason.

but its better to learn your grammer

and go on with life.


please dont be jealous of my youth

i think its time to leave.

please today he finally said it

he's jealous of my youth.

silence is not an answer anymore

you're jealous of the only asset i possess

stripped poor, naked, I am still glistening in youth

he, clothed with experiences, memories, peacefulness of aging

is poor in morality and hope.

I am sorry I should have offered to share some of my sunshine

but you are sucking all my happiness out of me

with you in the room, everyone is dying

my brother's innocence, my mother's patience, sister's pride

my confidence.

its time.

we all smile and live up to every little bit of our lives.