my politically incorrectness

some julia or julia once said something i couldnt seem to forget
"no politics with the father"
there and then i nodded like i want my head to roll off the rest of the bod
and made my vow
that i would try
at least
not to be TOO politically incorrect
by avoiding the obvious.

now i think sex and the city and the oh-so obnoxiously overated hollywood shoutouts
kind of turned my already-abnormal mind a bit more upside down
and guess what you get when u turn something upside down for too long?
the last thing you'd even think you'd think about
will end up being on top of everything else.

as opposed to what carrie wrote for vogue abt some marriages some vows
(see what happened to her, got taped by newyorker.)
i'm gona start my very first piece on politics.
mind you.
it never would be and never could be any pc
but since it would never do hongkong politics any justice even thinking of attempting the piece in say, the language before the handover
( i dont actually consider the british official medium of communication an official language in the hong kong after the invention of some chinese as medium of instruction reform. say what?)
and to get this going somewhere i have to first design a topic for my discussion
whether the new political reform introduced by the democrats is worthy of my support

(i'd like to put it that way. nothing too political. i was told indifference brings peace. from primary school fights to politics.)

i skimmed through some editorials (and there's where i got the whole idea of writing this from)
and some updates from all sorts of local newspapers
so all the information im having is already media baised. so please don't judge when you already know i cant really speak the truth when the truth is never out there for you to reveal it

lets get to the point
so basically there are two camps:
( and since it is a political reform introduced by the democratic party they have their own inner split)

A. the democrats, the government (and beijing) supporting the new political reform where they describe it, in an appeal to pity form, as a small step towards the long winding path towards the destination: the 2017th universal suffrage.

B. the opposing camp aka the pan-democrats plus the DAB and ,now just released, the civic party: in the pan-democrates own words, being the warrior and saving us hong konger's from the allusion of getting somewhere some destination which doesn't even exist

i watched half of the public political debate on sunday.
making some notes in my head, something that goes like this:
1. it was some good show.
2. our chief executive is some lousy actor but he did his part,
3. i should pay more attention to the moves rather than the substance( the bullshit)

by moves, i meant who actually initiated the debate, who's the winner behind it all, and figure out whos the dark knight all along.

i remember on sunday, i'm pretty sure our CE put up some pretty interesting replay of the dark knight.

and today, after reading all the dos and don'ts and what ifs and dont be tricked
im pretty sure i've made up my mind.
i dont do team ____, if you know me, im the last person you'd ever imagine leaving a room with some stupid badge on my heart. im never too ashamed of my conscience i need to defriend it in such a disrespectful way

on the other hand. listen. i'd like to consider it with reference to some chinese up-bringing, some westernised enlightenment, some law student's own 19 years of permanent residency and no patriotism but a heart for the best of my hometown

my father had long taught me the skill of survival. even if it cost me some years of being a stereo-typed "high-school loner"
to be indifferent. and swallow your words into your soul
its the one and only one organ that's worth your trust
and your time

my mother taught me something different
that we need some other forms of survival
the knowledge of the 2010 spring/summer D&G collection, most organic skincare products, the hunt for some wearable killer-heels
she taught me its not only about the inside.

sometimes i see why they dont get along.
why my mother wonders why my dad never understand the art of laughing some ass off over the new soap operas
and i also see why they ended up where they are
right next to each other even after he never responded and she cried with exhaustion
the need for each other.
the need for perfection

there i am, a product of the two masterminds, two already genetically different camps
a girl who wants to merely understand more about the world
on her one way ticket here
so before i get back to the politics
and reveal the curtain of whether i'm breaking my own rules about teaming and no teaming
i'd like to tell you something more
of what happens within a normal chau family

my dad frustrates me the most when the time comes to decide the next vacation destination
when i was a teenager (not that i am not one still, but that was some indication of the rebellious years when emotion reigns and there's no such thing as being rational)
i'd always have these fantasies going on my mind
that i'd be bragging to my girls about my next might-be possible trip to europe, roaming the streets of paris, drinking actual english tea overlooking the london eye...
while my dad says he'll die a democrat supporter
and (pretends) to give us 100% literal liberty over the choice of destinations
( i realise now why they gave liberty some resemblance to literal. pun intended)
and i really did try to believe i'd finally have my say to make my dreams come true
he'd often start with something like "yeah, europe's a nice place"
and i can already hear the BIG BUT and the shattering of my dreams
and after giving him the silent treatment, and learning for the 19th time,
i start to understand that a choice isn't really a choice
unless you get what you want.
all this time he'd believe it was a choice he'd given us all along
cause never for once the breadwinner didn't have his say.

story 2 goes like this:
now that i'd grown up a little ( pay attention to the " a little" part because i'd like to imagine i still have a long way to grow and that i am not too far from being that innocent ignorant little girl i once was because i still cant decide which is better.)
i learn that you would be losing your only chance of checkmate
if you left the table before you actually play
so i played
i played "yes maybe europe's not too good an idea after all" and expected some kind of astonishment and respect (yet it never came. not yet. maybe)
occasionally though, i get some "you'd decide this time" but with some sulks and some "now consider the heat and the deserted stores..."
i learnt, yet again, that its impossible to declare victory before you actually get the king.
the game havn't even started

so there i tried to change his mind, to talk him into something not JAPAN, something like the Maldives
but some PRACTICAL reasons made this impossible
so in the end,
before i tried to go on, planning my next move,
someone declared some reservations for the big J
and there i went. all checkmate. without realising it
i thought it would be painful. losing i mean.
but after locking myself up in the bathroom for two straight hours
i realise the fatal step is one i planned in the start.
by realising that its only legitimate to play with my own set
no its not.
not in real life at least.
in real life you get to go to the other side, and move the white pieces too
that i stood too strong on my ground
believing that this is the last game
this is my last chance
that 2012 is my last chance
and that letting my king stand's the whole reason im playing
or is it?
is universal suffrage the reason why im in?
why im writing this post?

the chinese economy is on the rise,
the yuan currency is declaring its victory.
china needs to go universal to expand and to reclaim its former glory
it doesn't have the time, strength, reason to suppress
but dont forget the chinese pride that's rooted in us
"I’m talking’ bout roots, I can’t hate where I’m from, cause where I’m from made me" quoted flo-rida
hong kong people, im not saying team helenchau not, but dont forget your roots
and how everything made us into who we are
i dont understand my rents,
and i dont think i'll ever will
but they did pour blood into us
and give us a chance to have our say

all im saying is
its not even about universal suffrage
its not about the destination
its about the tension
dont even try utter the disrespectful word "giving in"
no ones giving in when everyone's giving in
you can say uh uh no. i wont let u go checkmate. you go take down more blacks. but dont u move my king.
i'll say,
this is not the last game
at least not for me.
5 years,
10 tens
15 years,
i'll come back
and play another game
maybe next time,
we'll play under a completely different scenario
when i'm the breadwinner of my own life
i'll go to europe
hong kong will have universal suffrage
and from then on the pan democrats will realise its not about getting there or not
because they've already got there
without knowing how

p.s. im not saying we shd sit back and enjoy the show
im saying if we fight for that Valentino when im 19
we may end up getting grounded
or even worse
end up getting the best red on earth in our hands
realising then
that the best red doesnt show
when you're 19

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