never stop this train

to make the long story short
(or rather, to visualize the impossible train of memories)
it had been a 30 min ride with 5 stops
5 different stages of the story of us:
summer paris london court trials midterms christmas
whoa. if it could only be 5 stops
then i'd wish upon a falling star
that john mayer's right
when he said
stop this train.

maybe its the melodic breathing of the maldivian sea
or the array of champagne supernova
or just something along the lines of understanding and compromising
the pain of soul searching soothed like the fading footsteps on the shore
where the blue and the beige kissed and retreat

or maybe its the moonlight (better, the spotlight)
the silver moonpath the flight of glistening stairs that descended from the dark satin to the rippled navy
or the little specks of smiling eyes the brightest one in the north the little red ruby or the three-in-a-row
even when the little island of paradise faded into the drape of night together with the frameless memories
i recall no pain
but serenity

she asked me if i'd feel sad
if some other she took his hand and his heart
i said when a girl got to the other end of sitting wishing waiting
she'll grow

it took me a few more stops than a normal girl'd take
to get to where i am now
in the end
nothing brings more bliss
than unwrapping the boxes labelled "dear sister, with love" under the dancing pine tree seeing the child-like smiles on their faces wondering if my brother actually murmured a little thankyou

no matter how many times the desperation misunderstanding suffocation brought tears and aching hearts
these are the ones worth hurting for
you'll always know, ab initio,
the antidote's the understanding within

because others are just stops on the ride
stations you don't have to bother getting off for
watch feel and learn
and let the rest speed by and the rest of the rest speed past and stay where they belong

last christmas
i gave him my heart
and took it back

this christmas
i gave them my heart
and they cured mine

merry (belated) christmas

1 comment:

  1. I love you and I love billy
    this post made me speechless and cried
    i love you.
    I've loved you and have never stopped. And I wil continue to love you while I'm on the plane, stuck in the snow in a faraway country and when I'm back..
    until my knees are wobbly and it gets hard to poop.

    i love you