and i keep on telling myself its worth it
but sometimes I can't help but think I've found the wrong focus.
then I wish I can just flutter here and there like a butterfly
land a little too softly so I can always fly away when things go a little worse than expected
today I acted grown up.
for once no anger swell up inside.
I've let go.
I once was so very frantic that all could just go down from here
all the love, all the warmth, the faith, a mere feel good factor that feeds me throughout the days
and then I was left with no map, no guide, stranded and estranged.
I tried to hold on to anything, anyone, just something to keep me sane.
I found my marie, my bear chair and some lane crawfords and hmvs.
Until a lanecrawford decided to close down, an hmv decided to leave. I realise its not right to just try to hold on to things, let alone some people, some warmth, some mortar and bricks.
tangible not, one cannot live in the past. I decided to take a leap into the future
Then I found love,
when I decided the world is made up of individuals.
I thought, two can be a guardian of some kind of life.
Then I found myself coming back to this space, trying to find something else.
I used to be so excited about the unknown
until I feel safe only when the light goes out.
When one saw too much
one just want to breathe.
so I took a deep breath,
and flipped open the first page of the documents.
P.S no matter what, they had given us the love we deserve.
let us not doubt some fact as obvious as love.