he is the second guy who said that in my face.
for once, i am speechless.
because deep down, i know. but what then?
if you don't get what you want all the time, then should you still desire? or should you just learn to smile and be contented with what life throws at you, knowing if you tried a little harder, a little more, you'll have, at least, a higher possibility of owning that something someone, some dream.
I deleted what i wanted to say.
I wanted to say, I am made that way.
I am made to want the best because I cannot afford to live a second-rated life.
I am biologically engineered to survive only in a world where standards of a certain kind is displayed, thus the source of my happiness flow.
I don't mind to listen to the birds chirp, the wind sing once in a while,
mind that , I lived by that once. but then your mind, or more specifically, your body just naturally respond to evolution.
that you can't settle for something like that.
that in the time ahead of you,
a race is awaiting.
my mother taught me to swim, run, compete, practice, read, draw, write, talk.
so I can run as fast as I can and write even faster to finish the exams I need to pass in order to get on top of the game.
I know. but I cannot afford to escape.
I wanted to change the rules of the game, tell them your dreams doesn't have to come in expense of mine.
but I cannot, because I am just me. Its really not about wanting. It's about needs.
You change not to become a different you, but a stronger, clear-minded being.
so when you have offsprings of your own, you are strong enough to teach them how to shield themselves against the evils of this world.
There are some rules you can do nthing but just abide to; like some people you can love but cannot own.
A morally respectable guy once said it is dumb to think like an imperialist. He doesn't understand the idea of taking into possession something your heart desires and bearing your initials on it.
marking your territory. I secretly doubt if he is taking his words seriously.
Why, if everything and every person that matters is just a falling star, can you pretend you can survive under a starry starry sky?
What I want to make permanent, mounts to the safety and security of the future. Regardless of the pain, the trade off where one might be too wounded and have lost the capacity to enjoy the luxury of security, the race to a better future is my present hope.
the stars I met along the way, I'm happy for.
but I cannot fool myself into being a nocturne when I am born amongst the august breeze.
value the temporary silence, and I'll start my new journey soon.