i found out why

today i understood
something more about human

the fact that we are already in debt the moment we are born
the creditors: our parents, our state
made us non-consenusally morally and legally obliged to follow their supervision and authority

dated back to the days when we are still too feeble to stand
such authority is named guidance and care
as we opened our eyes, learnt to stand, to walk and run
we realize there are more dimensions
to love
then we were taught to believe

that sometimes the smile she threw this way
is to hide a guilt she in debted you with, without your knowing
is out of selfishness, a feel-good factor for her, get her mind off harder things
is out of courtesy. because she wanted her daughter to learn to respect her mother as she demonstrated

and then, today, i realise
nothing happens without a reason
if there is something inexplanatory,
its because it happened out of your apprehension/ you are too stuck up to have noticed/ you've been over-dozed with lies and fairtales

because even a smile from your utmost kin
is supplemented with a reason
other than love

or maybe i'm being a little too bitter
bursting too many bubbles at once
be it that ignorance is a latent defect
on the other dimension, its a blessing
if adam and eve remained ignorant
the result is not happiness
(a lot of people got it wrong here)
but contentedness.

so, this is for aristotle,
our life is not a pursuit of happiness
it's contentedness
finding the moderation between knowing and unknown
and learning to survive in between

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