1.05.2011

i'll blame it on the cold

ok. i'll blame it on the cold.

usually i'd die for the little anxiety the little affection the agony from your silence

and since when did i began to feel afraid

of too much love too much truth too much smile

i don't understand why the things i used to like don't stirr my heart like they used to. then i find myself going through the pain of looking for new heartaches. how i wish it'd be more simple.

had an amazing afternoon chillaxing with an old friend, small talking about life and making up new blabber such as once in a whiles. we both agreed that the pain will go and we will find what we deserve. its just a matter of numbers - time and people in between.

i guess in the end, we all know who's the most favourite. pity is, hes not a keeper. truth is, love is never found in keepers. we are all children who eventually get tired of their favourite toys.

talking about toys. today i ran through a bunch of them. the old me will begin reminiscing. the new me simply starts replacing memories with spaces. yes. i prefer cold empty spaces than tangible tear-attracting trashy memories.

because when one day i decide to forget, i'd just wipe out this blog. words are easier to handle.

i surprised myself when i told a certain he through e-mail: i was never good with feelings.

i simply toy with them, give them a cuddle and leave like it never happened.

i thought everything was way better before me came along. i thought the beginnings are always happier than the ends. in the beginning, it all began with an "I" then some "he" crashed into our lives and somehow it ended up being a "we" but usually not for long.

please tell me how to put up with your imperfections. i can't even stand my own.



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