last christmas i gave you my heart

can i stop waking up from dreams that brings raindrops to my eyes?

this time
you are holding hands with this girl
and looking at me as if i didn't exist
as if im a piece of transparent memory
and only me the fool remembered

then i realise the heartache i went through last christmas
it pained when i said we are not talking anymore
it pained when you really said goodbye
it pained when i thought time could mend things but i forgot you moved on but i stayed right there
there on the very dark night
when everything went wrong
and we threw the promises into the sea

the hurt ends
when i heard you kissed another girl
then all i can remember
is running into martins room
crying crying crying
so much like the first time we smiled so much
when martin told you i liked you and you liked me too

i couldn't even bring you to read the letter i wrote
all i can do is to give your childhood memories back
stripped you from our promises and put your armour back on

maybe its just christmas approaching that brought back all the reminiscence
it only meant
i've survived another year
without you

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