tired.

today.
is
a
sad
day.



i woke up feeling tired.
mind and soul.

wandered around the house
trying to find something beautiful to marvel at
nothing.
the house is empty
no, actually someone's around
but we don't talk to each other anymore
new ground rule: silence

then the drills start coming in.
they brought out the rage
i slammed the phone down
slammed the door shut
screamed into the phone
"and u want me to study constitution in this hell?"


then guilt caught up with me
and i played chanel coco & igor stravinsky
oh the french-russian collision
is my only marvel of the day


then i felt even more tired
after the russian tune fades out and credits fades in
took lassie out for a walk
the crowded streets disgusted me

oh. maybe one thing genuinely excited me.
today, while i decided to take the turn home
my dog looked me in the eye (literally)
refused to take the new path
so, we stood at the crossroad
looked at each other
and for a split second
i can't help but smile
at her will

even my pet knows which way to choose
i am still pondering at the crossroad

its too much
i curled up and got back into bed
thought: maybe i will wake up to a peaceful dinner. an antidote i desperately needed


who knows
1 second after i got out of bed
rolled down the stairs and found
myself amongst a heated discussion at the dinner table
another second passed
i found my tears rolling uncontrollably


alas, so it was my tears that woke me up


im tired.

permettez-moi de sourire s'il vous plaît