muse...-ed

its only been two days
but i felt as if two millennium has passed
until the tulips in my room began to blossom
i've told myself
when my babies grow, i will as well
and i guess
this is how the world works


today, i ran into Michael Casker's PET CLOUD project
and it was, again, love at first sight
oh if i could only poke at the fluffiness the white the eyes
i'd die with bliss
(janyway, just to say, : i feel like walking on clouds today)


i guess
i got used to it all
really. that's what my muse (akhem... mum) told me after her morning brunch with the miss lovely who took me under her wings while i encounter my first paid-experience
she said
something i ought to have known all along but am really,genuinely, bind to it all.
she said
"oh but misunderstanding is in the eyes of the beholder"
(tried to beautify it Shakespearian style)
and was it not
cant be any truer
if so, then let the beholders remorse
and let me live
without bothering who why whut when how

i just want my pet cloud

my couldnt-be-any-lovelier-tlf told me a day agp
"but this is merely the glamour above all the unspeakable ugliness and sadness"
and if it cant be of any help
LAND LAW finally come to my rescue
its just, as a matter of fact-ness, a matter of

priority

should we sugarcoat reality or
poke the bubble of bliss and let down our quarantine
just to build another stronger qurantine
so we can be immune
naturally
instead of artificially
against all the sins of humankind


after this ride
i thot i will end up being as sinister as those around me
they call it conformity
i guess a part of me had this natural resistance towards conformity
not anything in particular (mind u, not attention seeking-ness. no generalization here)
but a desire to be unique
one-of-a-kind
if i rip off all the labels
its just a mere
love to be myself

dont tell me its wrong. you know it isnt in the very best sense.

so, as blair had said oh-so-perfectly-right again,
since i've been following my head for 18 years
i guess its finally time
to let go of all the worries of consequences
and just pick up one ounce of courage left in me

to follow my heart


p.s. charlie chaplin said (in my tweeter) ,
maybe everyone is laughing when i'm crying.
maybe the reason why i care is cause the inner me is laughing at my stupidity as well
but the diesel campaign (shot by the proud blogger of weliveyoung) said it all
i dont feel the pain i used to
from knowing you wont and couldn't ever love me the way i'd like you to
but even if you did
it wouldn't change anything

and the natural being in us,
will move on
and realise
the person who loved you all along
deserved your love
too.