i love.

i like to do/think anything that makes sense...at least to me

i still believe intuition comes before judgement....not that they don't sometimes go hand in hand
but u know, something has to go first

i love horses. i read every single ever-published version of Black Beauty when i was eleven.
i love the defined muscles the free-spirit them standing in their sleep the soft nuzzles the intelligent eyes the long legs the silent wishful gazes

i love tea biscuits, how they taste the same in every other brand, yet taste so different if u eat it in chunks/in bits/let it melt gently into thee tastebuds

i love white sheets, and a late morning tangling yourself in some wishing they are some sort of new web that u can stick to and never get away

i love bunnies and bears that don't wear anything aka stupid i heart sth clothes/ overrated ribbons

i love how you never see bunnies' mouth. yet their long ears distinguish them

i love wind-blown hair. a timeless hair trend.

i love hongkong. just name something this little place doesn't contain and i'm flying off to Mars with you

i love mars bar. not the mini ones, but the large overdose. this is the one time calories don't bother me

i love how i start to love cooking. the entire idea left me feeling as if I've eaten a Napoleon cake coated with berries having just staring at some

i love it when i say i love. it makes me feel loved

i love nicholas spark's last song. never has words bring so many private giggles

i love being alone in my room in a late afternoon not needing to plan to pack to wash to run an errand to buy some clothes to update some trends to worry about not being in the picture

i love the feeling of having to cook my own soba noodles in 30 minutes. it makes me feel like miss independent

i love the feeling of having the whole house to myself. no nagging parents no screaming kids no turn-off-the-air-con no blasting music (maybe a little john mayer)

i love not having to spend my day amongst clothes and air con aka in a mall. but i have a confession to make: the urge to watch a movie, a movie of any kind, is starting to heighten to an amateur orgasm

i love to have known what a lucky cigarette is.

i love my mum calling me just to tell me how great some iced coffee tasted.

i love the fact that im writing all this within ten minutes because i need no commas no spaces just a dash-straight from my heart

i love how im filling in some blank space with some invisible colours of happiness

i love the card we made for our aunt's birthday yesterday. i finally got the chance to try out my new faber-castell coloured-pencils.

the only thing i'd love to improve is the control of my appetite

i love that waking up doesn't mean waking up to a day of too much talking

i love being perfectly lonely

bye. i am going to make love to some soba noodles :D

two girls crying over smiling cake

when u find urself indulging in cheesecake last nite and again in the morning
and maybe craving for some in the afternoon to come and maybe as dessert for later tonite
while u are in some immense dieting mode
then maybe
and very likely
u r in denial of all the pain inside

suddenly the Ocean cocktail stings my heart like some overloaded grey goose
when she told me with tears framed in her eyes
"he said he didn't love me no more"
if some words like this some swords like that can break a listener's heart
i dont even want to pretend i could saviour her silent bleeding
maybe its different but very indifferent in some way
believe me when i say what more can be said and done
two girls seeking answers in some blueberry cheesecake

didn't they tell us to smile and laugh like there's no tomorrow
no they didn't tell us all the cheesecake's not the reason but the remedy
how can they actually say it's just not the right time
and not realise it never had been and never will be

why are there two girls crying over smiling cakes

spare the interrogation. spare the fuss
every being is wounded one way or the other.

someone patch up my rare wounds

don't shed no more tears. it's killing me.

"you promise we'll never come back?" " i promise."

when u find yourself wandering alone on a peopleless road at 1 in the morning smelling the hatred of knowing someone u once loved loved someone else seeing only teary trees wishing oh-if-only-someone-could-lift-the-weight-from-my-heart wondering if last year had been anything more than some mistakes and heartaches

then out in that nowhere

it surprises even the myself when all i can think of is this

the blog

the words

the silent written revenge

or maybe, better put, the long-due confession

why did i hear my own sobs felt my own tears when i heard that he almost kissed her the other night

its so predictable its almost what would and should have happened

its either him kissing someone or me falling into others embrace

its always just a game of who-gets-there-first

but as i tried to relate the spoken news into unseen reality

i felt these foreign waves of pain

washing out all other emotions on the inside

it started from the toes to the head

then came the cold limbs

the pounding sense of hunger

and an appetite bloated with mistakes regrets

it always begins with the pain

the pain from the loss and not-found

then almost immediately anger finds its place with the waterfall of tears

the rage of falling victim to believing oh so foolishly

that words like you-are-the-girl-of-my-dreams still exist

the anger of not knowing the formula of forgetting

instead got scratched and torn and wounded for merely believing for one more time its right to hold on and not let go

the worst part u wana know wut the worst part is

it is when all the answers to the questions directed themselves to the founder

it is exactly like how the needle of a compass always points to the north

the worst part is when u realise

u are north

u are the voices in ur head

u are the one who hoped who got urself hurt who fall head over heels for the wrong person

again.

again?

again...

i need no are-u-okays. i need no miracles. i need no other shoulder no other helping hand

this time i need to pick myself up

replay the pain and remember it

remember the price i have to pay everytime i fall for another fairytale

the reason why no one deserves to be too happy

and no one too sad

for once fatigue became the best remedy

i wonder if it meant anything

if i meant anything

if everything meant anything

and the crumpled note was left unread

amongst the bushes where we once sneaked out

if only u got my words

if only it would make a difference

its best to say ciao when u know something just doesnt deserve forever