foolproof

he repeated something i quote randomly

"words come easy when they're true"

it took me more than 3 drafts before this post gets published. the struggle is: i wonder what i want to make permanent. the memories? the pain? or its aftermath? i realise, its really only the love.

when i decide to go through my 25 most-played songs on this warm sunday morning, the pages of yesterday flipped like the feb issue of elle i've been reading over and over again for god knows how many times already. i like to label my happenings with their own soundtracks. loop a john mayer jackjohnson and you can indoctrinate yourself that it once felt as good as it had been. tug the crumbs of bliss gently underneath somewhere so it doesn't bother you no more.

when you can't decide whats right for the moment, stick with what's fool-proof.

for me, is the equivalent of demin, grey blazer, chanel and myself.