maybe its me and my blind optimism to blame

weird typing away in an outbox, writing an email wondering who the recipient should be
that lonely huh?
yup. that alone.
wrote 2 emails which were supposedly blog material.
thankyou office for blocking blog.
working in a law firm learning about freedom of speech no?

sometimes all i wanted to do
is to fold myself up
curl, to become smaller and smaller
until i can be invincible to all the pain the rain the games the lies the hurt
or let them go by
without realising
they left a victim astray

i want to take photos with my eyes
with the most innocent lens
maybe blur the reality a little with a little too much tears

i want to bring a soundtrack into every step i take
from the moment i open my eyes straining against the morning sun
let the lyrics the tune the harmony embrace me
so that my soul can dance
even if my body cant

i want you to know i want the world to know
that being myself is not insanity
that growing up is pain
that i am not too young to be messed with

i want to love to beloved to understand
but where's your hand
in my memories it slipped away
or it may not have been there in the first place

i want john lennon's milk and honey
i want robbie williams shame
i want taylor swift's dear john
i want abby lee's peroxide hair
i want tommy the superman
i want an escape

everyone's telling me this is wrong
to want a gap year is wrong
to not study is wrong
to love is wrong
to dream is wrong
but, lemme tell you a secret. i think all of it is damn right.